So here is one of the guila monsters living in my room:
And just so you have perspective, this is how big it looks from across the room.
Big buggers aren’t they? Is there a point when a gecko is no longer a gecko? That is not some philosophy-type question, I’m just wondering if any of my naturalist-inclined friends out there might now? I mean when you think gecko, you think small little lizardy-thing that climb up any surface. You don’t think something coming close to a foot long!! I personally think it turns into a guila monster.
So, yesterday started off as another completely lazy day. The missus is right…..if you’re not diving on this island, you’re not doing much of anything else. It really is a bit of a backwater in many regards other than the diving. What is particularly bizarre is that the diving here is ok, but there are other spots in the world that offer far more thrills per dive for your buck. What Koh Tao is especially well suited to, however, is the training of divers to all levels. It is what it is known for. Oh and the opportunity to see reef and whale sharks off one or two spots further out from the island’s shore. But, alas, you can also see whale sharks and reef sharks in other locales too.
I think I perhaps being a tad unfair, there is a good deal of marine life, particularly if the visibility is good (which it hasn’t been for me really this far)……I mean I have seen a lot of porcupine pufferfish, a sea snake, triggerfish, batfish, angelfish, barracuda, afternoon, clown fish, parrotfish, pipefish, stingrays, rabbitfish, black-tipped reef sharks, bull sharks, massive grouper….the list goes on an on, but it just strikes me that I have seen some pretty cool diving in the Caribbean too. Anyway, my point is that on the island itself, if you are not engaged in some form of diving activity, there is little to do, besides eating and hanging around. I actually think this is good for the missus, she really did need some brain-dead downtime after her month of December at work….it simply was hell for her. Tie in the trip she had to get here and I think just bumming around is good for her.
But we’re getting lazier and lazier….I actually feel like going for a run, doing some sit-ups and press-ups and so on, but I am not pushing anything until I have used up the antibiotics. So, yesterday started off with us finally getting up and about late in the day. Then I got the bike back and picked up the missus. We popped down to Sairee to Choppers (a bar I am more and more getting sick of…it’s a little too Costa Del Sol for any Brits out there, or too Springbreak for college students for north Americans….basically, it is full of loutish backpackers). Just a quick chance to get online. I then went to a divemaster lecture because we have to do five of the DM exams again on the IDC (not the exact same questions, but the same issues). There were supposed to be three DMT’s and I was just going to sit at the back. Accordingly, I hadn’t really brushed up on the topic in question (the RDP and its theory), as I expected an easy-going time of it. Except none of the DMT’s turned up. So it turned into Tim and another instructor, Sean, grilling me and me alone on the RDP and compartments and half-times and M-Values and Rogers and Haldanean concepts and whatnot. Then to cap it off, Tim made me sit another one of the DM exams just to see how I’d do. Luckily I scored 100% (yep, pat on my own back there, d’you catch that?). But, man, I just went to chill and absorb, not get the 3rd degree!!
So, the “lecture” ends and Tim is jumping up and down……no, literally, he was jumping up and down. Of course, I had to ask him what he was so excited about. Turns out “Carver” is back on Koh Tao and that means Beer Pong!! Oh My God, yes, Beer Pong!!! What the fuck is Beer Pong???
So, I get the rough story. Carver is a guy from Port Elgin, Ontario who came here about a year and a half ago. Tim and Carver got along like a house on fire. Carver came back again and this time brought a couple of mates, one of whom was a guy called Trevor. Tim and Trevor got along like a house on fire. Now Carver and Trevor are back again and they brought another guy, Ben, along for the trip. I think, basically, what goes on here is that these boys are old school Ontario lads who like to party and listen to 80’s rock songs. When I say “party”, I mean they get shit-faced. And they pull Tim into the middle of it. And he loves it.
He tells me that we should head down to Easy for 5 to 5:30 p.m. to meet Carver. Ok, we’ll meet up and say hi to fellow Canucks. So, an entire day and all the missus and I have done is hung out, eaten and I attended a lecture (while the missus sat on the beach). We go hang out at Chez Chris for a couple of hours.
So, yesterday started off as another completely lazy day. The missus is right…..if you’re not diving on this island, you’re not doing much of anything else. It really is a bit of a backwater in many regards other than the diving. What is particularly bizarre is that the diving here is ok, but there are other spots in the world that offer far more thrills per dive for your buck. What Koh Tao is especially well suited to, however, is the training of divers to all levels. It is what it is known for. Oh and the opportunity to see reef and whale sharks off one or two spots further out from the island’s shore. But, alas, you can also see whale sharks and reef sharks in other locales too.
I think I perhaps being a tad unfair, there is a good deal of marine life, particularly if the visibility is good (which it hasn’t been for me really this far)……I mean I have seen a lot of porcupine pufferfish, a sea snake, triggerfish, batfish, angelfish, barracuda, afternoon, clown fish, parrotfish, pipefish, stingrays, rabbitfish, black-tipped reef sharks, bull sharks, massive grouper….the list goes on an on, but it just strikes me that I have seen some pretty cool diving in the Caribbean too. Anyway, my point is that on the island itself, if you are not engaged in some form of diving activity, there is little to do, besides eating and hanging around. I actually think this is good for the missus, she really did need some brain-dead downtime after her month of December at work….it simply was hell for her. Tie in the trip she had to get here and I think just bumming around is good for her.
But we’re getting lazier and lazier….I actually feel like going for a run, doing some sit-ups and press-ups and so on, but I am not pushing anything until I have used up the antibiotics. So, yesterday started off with us finally getting up and about late in the day. Then I got the bike back and picked up the missus. We popped down to Sairee to Choppers (a bar I am more and more getting sick of…it’s a little too Costa Del Sol for any Brits out there, or too Springbreak for college students for north Americans….basically, it is full of loutish backpackers). Just a quick chance to get online. I then went to a divemaster lecture because we have to do five of the DM exams again on the IDC (not the exact same questions, but the same issues). There were supposed to be three DMT’s and I was just going to sit at the back. Accordingly, I hadn’t really brushed up on the topic in question (the RDP and its theory), as I expected an easy-going time of it. Except none of the DMT’s turned up. So it turned into Tim and another instructor, Sean, grilling me and me alone on the RDP and compartments and half-times and M-Values and Rogers and Haldanean concepts and whatnot. Then to cap it off, Tim made me sit another one of the DM exams just to see how I’d do. Luckily I scored 100% (yep, pat on my own back there, d’you catch that?). But, man, I just went to chill and absorb, not get the 3rd degree!!
So, the “lecture” ends and Tim is jumping up and down……no, literally, he was jumping up and down. Of course, I had to ask him what he was so excited about. Turns out “Carver” is back on Koh Tao and that means Beer Pong!! Oh My God, yes, Beer Pong!!! What the fuck is Beer Pong???
So, I get the rough story. Carver is a guy from Port Elgin, Ontario who came here about a year and a half ago. Tim and Carver got along like a house on fire. Carver came back again and this time brought a couple of mates, one of whom was a guy called Trevor. Tim and Trevor got along like a house on fire. Now Carver and Trevor are back again and they brought another guy, Ben, along for the trip. I think, basically, what goes on here is that these boys are old school Ontario lads who like to party and listen to 80’s rock songs. When I say “party”, I mean they get shit-faced. And they pull Tim into the middle of it. And he loves it.
He tells me that we should head down to Easy for 5 to 5:30 p.m. to meet Carver. Ok, we’ll meet up and say hi to fellow Canucks. So, an entire day and all the missus and I have done is hung out, eaten and I attended a lecture (while the missus sat on the beach). We go hang out at Chez Chris for a couple of hours.
We then get to Easy for about 5:15 and I have a couple of beers. Probably shouldn’t being on antibiotics, but I plan on taking it somewhat easy anyway.
Eventually Tim turns up sometime after 6 (hey, it’s island time, so I am not particularly disturbed). Then we meet Carver, Trevor and Ben. They’re actually really nice guys, but yep, these are laid-back, hard-drinking cool-hand, living in a small town Ontario kind of guys. The kind of guys you’ve all likely been fucked up with at some point in time. Dave Scott, if you’re reading this, kinda like a bunch of the lads from your stag!
And before we know it, they’ve set up the table in the small pagoda that is the outside classroom at Sunshine and everyone is ready for Beer Pong. So, let me explain Beer Pong (Heather, you know we’ll have to set this up when I get back to Toronto).
There are two triangles of cups/glasses/whatever at opposite ends of the table. Kind of like the pins in a bowling alley. Each cup holds a shot or so of beer. There are two teams of two on opposite ends of the table. One team member from each side then does rock, paper, scissors to determine which team goes first. The first team each has a ping-pong ball (well in this case they were these piece of shit little rubbery kind of balls that had no bounce, but it was all the boys could find). Now, you can either underhand throw your ball towards the cups at the other end of the table (oh….and you have to stand about two feet back from your end of the table to increase the distance a little)or you can try and bounce it on the table to have it land in one of the cups from the opposite teams triangle. If you throw it underhand, the other team can’t stop it and must let it land. If it lands in a cup, one of the opposite team has to drink that cup. There is a small catch, namely that the opposing team has to be somewhat fast, because if both of the people throwing the balls underhand get both balls in the same cup, then the opposing team has to drink all of the beer shots remaining on the table.
So, a ball is thrown underhand and lands in a cup. Grab the cup fast, drink the beer and you are somewhat safe. The play goes from end to end and both teams drink a few beer shots. If no one tries the bounce shot and there are no two balls in one cup, this goes on until one team has landed a ball in every cup of the opposing team’s triangle. The losing team then has to drink any of the remaining cups from the winner’s triangle as well.
Now, if a player bounces a ball towards the other team’s triangle, things get a little more hairy. First, the opposing team is allowed to defend against a bouncing ball. You can swat it away. But if you miss and a bouncing ball lands in one of the cups, it is an automatic win. The opposing team has to drink all of the remaining cups on the table.
You can see how this game would get messy fast.
So, play begins. Tim and Carver play Trevor and Ben a couple of times. Tim and Carver win both of the first couple of games. Trevor upped the ante a little for his team and poured half vodka and Thai redbull (think of the redbull you know as the girly-girl little sister to this stuff). Trevor and Ben have now had to drink quite a bit. Ben is looking pretty shit-faced. It is barely past seven o’clock. Michael steps in and plays with Trevor who is still holding hard. They still lose. And Michael and Trevor are now both looking a little shit-faced. The missus and I get recruited….on opposite teams. Carver and I are up against Trevor and the missus. Canadian tunes and good old 80’s rock tunes are piping through a tv and iPod. There’s a buzz. First game up, I bounce a ball into a cup on my first shot. Meaning the missus and Trevor have to finish all 20 cups on the table. But mercy is shown and it is decided that they only have to drink their own cups.
Next game. Carver bounces a ball in on the first shot. Damn……the missus and Trevor have to drink another ten cups right away. The missus is getting pissed and competitive. Pissed in a drunk sense. Next game they win and Carver and I have to drink all of our cups. Damn this is getting messy. Tim brings out the Thai Zamboni (a towel). About another ten or so games are played with various players. It ends up with everybody roaringly drunk. Good times. At least Trevor didn’t shit himself or Carver piss himself (apparently they were much drunker last time).
I end up playing with this Norwegian-Thai kid for the last two games (he’s 18, thus “kid”). We lose both badly and have to drink all of the cups on the table. Luckily for me, everybody is hammered and no-one but the missus and Ben notice as I throw half my cups over my shoulder out of the pagoda. Only the missus and Ben notice when I accidentally throw one of the cups onto Ben instead of out of the pagoda. Luckily again for me, Ben is so pissed, he can barely form words and just giggles and looks at the missus and me as we wet ourselves.
And then all the drunk bastards jump onto mopeds and head to 7-11 for cheese toasties and pancakes…..ahhhh, such is Koh Tao.
Eventually Tim turns up sometime after 6 (hey, it’s island time, so I am not particularly disturbed). Then we meet Carver, Trevor and Ben. They’re actually really nice guys, but yep, these are laid-back, hard-drinking cool-hand, living in a small town Ontario kind of guys. The kind of guys you’ve all likely been fucked up with at some point in time. Dave Scott, if you’re reading this, kinda like a bunch of the lads from your stag!
And before we know it, they’ve set up the table in the small pagoda that is the outside classroom at Sunshine and everyone is ready for Beer Pong. So, let me explain Beer Pong (Heather, you know we’ll have to set this up when I get back to Toronto).
There are two triangles of cups/glasses/whatever at opposite ends of the table. Kind of like the pins in a bowling alley. Each cup holds a shot or so of beer. There are two teams of two on opposite ends of the table. One team member from each side then does rock, paper, scissors to determine which team goes first. The first team each has a ping-pong ball (well in this case they were these piece of shit little rubbery kind of balls that had no bounce, but it was all the boys could find). Now, you can either underhand throw your ball towards the cups at the other end of the table (oh….and you have to stand about two feet back from your end of the table to increase the distance a little)or you can try and bounce it on the table to have it land in one of the cups from the opposite teams triangle. If you throw it underhand, the other team can’t stop it and must let it land. If it lands in a cup, one of the opposite team has to drink that cup. There is a small catch, namely that the opposing team has to be somewhat fast, because if both of the people throwing the balls underhand get both balls in the same cup, then the opposing team has to drink all of the beer shots remaining on the table.
So, a ball is thrown underhand and lands in a cup. Grab the cup fast, drink the beer and you are somewhat safe. The play goes from end to end and both teams drink a few beer shots. If no one tries the bounce shot and there are no two balls in one cup, this goes on until one team has landed a ball in every cup of the opposing team’s triangle. The losing team then has to drink any of the remaining cups from the winner’s triangle as well.
Now, if a player bounces a ball towards the other team’s triangle, things get a little more hairy. First, the opposing team is allowed to defend against a bouncing ball. You can swat it away. But if you miss and a bouncing ball lands in one of the cups, it is an automatic win. The opposing team has to drink all of the remaining cups on the table.
You can see how this game would get messy fast.
So, play begins. Tim and Carver play Trevor and Ben a couple of times. Tim and Carver win both of the first couple of games. Trevor upped the ante a little for his team and poured half vodka and Thai redbull (think of the redbull you know as the girly-girl little sister to this stuff). Trevor and Ben have now had to drink quite a bit. Ben is looking pretty shit-faced. It is barely past seven o’clock. Michael steps in and plays with Trevor who is still holding hard. They still lose. And Michael and Trevor are now both looking a little shit-faced. The missus and I get recruited….on opposite teams. Carver and I are up against Trevor and the missus. Canadian tunes and good old 80’s rock tunes are piping through a tv and iPod. There’s a buzz. First game up, I bounce a ball into a cup on my first shot. Meaning the missus and Trevor have to finish all 20 cups on the table. But mercy is shown and it is decided that they only have to drink their own cups.
Next game. Carver bounces a ball in on the first shot. Damn……the missus and Trevor have to drink another ten cups right away. The missus is getting pissed and competitive. Pissed in a drunk sense. Next game they win and Carver and I have to drink all of our cups. Damn this is getting messy. Tim brings out the Thai Zamboni (a towel). About another ten or so games are played with various players. It ends up with everybody roaringly drunk. Good times. At least Trevor didn’t shit himself or Carver piss himself (apparently they were much drunker last time).
I end up playing with this Norwegian-Thai kid for the last two games (he’s 18, thus “kid”). We lose both badly and have to drink all of the cups on the table. Luckily for me, everybody is hammered and no-one but the missus and Ben notice as I throw half my cups over my shoulder out of the pagoda. Only the missus and Ben notice when I accidentally throw one of the cups onto Ben instead of out of the pagoda. Luckily again for me, Ben is so pissed, he can barely form words and just giggles and looks at the missus and me as we wet ourselves.
And then all the drunk bastards jump onto mopeds and head to 7-11 for cheese toasties and pancakes…..ahhhh, such is Koh Tao.
Surprisingly, I wasn't hurting that much this morning.
One bit of bad news:
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